Hell to the chief

It did happen (foto: Star Ledger)

As the kids today say: OMG! or FML! However you put it, New Jersey is waking up to the reality of Governor-elect Chris Christie. I won’t say that I called it months ago, but for Democrats, it looked bad over the summer and ultimately stayed that way. Jon Corzine’s uninspired, uninspiring campaign was the logical conclusion of a governorship that died in that automobile accident in 2007.

By all rights, Chris Christie should be clearing a spot today on the lower level of the pantheon of Jersey Republicans like Bob Franks, Doug Forrester and Bret Schundler, who were ultimately exposed as weak wannabe state-wide candidates. Really. Christie makes Bret Schundler look like a rocket scientist. Yet, here we are. Say it slowly: Governor Chris Christie.

You can blame the economy all you want, but Democratic (and Independent) voters were simply not moved by Corzine’s rationale for re-election. If you were paying $10,000 a year in property taxes, would you buy the “Four more years” pitch? If you can’t convince people that a boring millionaire capitalist is better suited to handle New Jersey’s economic crisis than a wild-eyed empty suit partisan prosecutor, then you should just pack it in. (Which is what happened, evidently.)

I guess you have to give Corzine credit for making “tough decisions in tough times,” but voters don’t wanna know that things could’ve been worse if not for what you’ve done. They wanna know that things are great because of what you’ve done. Clearly, Jon Corzine can’t say that, but Chris Christie (the guy who put 100 politicians in jail!) was obviously able to convince us that he’s gonna make things better.

He’ll cut taxes and balance the budget and give you a rebate check and create new jobs and clean up government! Who cares about the details? Not us. On the positive side, I feel like Bruce Willis in “Unbreakable” when he realizes who Samuel Jackson really is. Okay, Sergeant Smarmy, say hello to my little pen!